August Nearly Over

I have been avoiding writing for a while now. Well that’s a lie. I have been writing but am so anxious of posting it that I have post after post of life, my life and I don’t know what to do with all this mind jumble. I have been in a massive slump.. deep low..suicidal […]

Hamster Wheel

Running the hamster wheel at present. Life has become very predictable and this is not enjoyable. I struggle with anxiety. One would think that having everything consistent would make me and my affliction very happy. But what happens is I never get out of this and thus continue to run in circles. Same old, same […]

Wanted Words

Three weeks ago, I saw my psychiatrist. A man that I respect because he seems relatively genuine on my progress and listens to all my reasonable and unreasonable thoughts and most of all he writes my scripts. So, it was in this hour and a half session that he surprised me. Not with flowers or […]

Fight Demons

Fight Demons

Trying to understand how I function has been a long hard process. Being so deeply hurt and betrayed in many different yet pivotal moments in my life has created a life distorted by illness that I have to fight every day. What is my human impulse of fight or fight? I want to do both […]

So it has begun

So I guess it is time for an update on my progress since starting a new medication. Some information to help with understanding my new medication: Treating certain types of seizures. It may be used alone or with other medicines. It may also be used to delay the occurrence of mood problems in certain patients […]

Seriously Treatment Resistant Depression

I have been struggling with feeling that regardless of how much I want to feel better, how pro-active I am. I am resistant.   Yes resistant is a new word in my bipolar vocabulary and one that I haven’t really considered. Broken, bent, crazy, frustrated, beaten, angry, dark, sick, disappointed, hurt, confused, stressed, lethargic, weird, devious, […]

Genuine

SO for a long while now I have been dealing with some people that like to pretend that they are kind, caring, honest, and loving, an all-round ‘genuine’ person. LOL that is what they like to portray. Quite hilariously these people have truly proven they can bullshit with the best of them and often prove […]

Defining Friendships

Defining my friendships friends people who are aware of how retarded you are and still manage to be seen inpublic with you. people who make you laugh till you pee your pants. people who cry for you when one of your special items disappear. when you dont have enough money to get a ice cream, they chip in. […]

My Writing Shoes

I have needed some time to think since my last blog post, soposedly most of my posts aren’t going down very well with some of my disengaged family members. It seems that there are people are reading my blog but I would call it selective reading. There is discussion about my blog which regardless of […]

Judgement

Today I was inspired to write regarding a question I have which is; Is it ok to judge someone’s writing on the one or two pieces you have read or before you weigh your judgement should you be well versed in all their words and stories. I try with all my might to make sure […]