I have been in a fog for a month or two.
I don’t know how I am feeling. I am numb to whats in my head this may be a good thing but it could also bubble over and cause great pain in the future.
I am trying to have focus on the future. Big things for the family but I struggle with dis-organisation and not having a productive checklist makes my processing very slow. These are things I am dealing with at the moment. Focus is off.
Slowly driving in a fog with the head lights off. Sometimes I like the thrill of not being able to see ahead of me the thought of whats hidden in the fog offering the possibility that there is bend in the road I cant see. A tree in the way. dark foggy thoughts. Even though I’m not really thinking or focused they sit there, the little demons lying in wait for the crack to show.
I don’t have a DR and I don’t have a mental health person to assist. I am currently on my own. The concern that is shown only happens when I use the S word. I don’t get the Are you Ok? and the only consistent support I get is from MC. Sometimes I wish I had a friend to talk to. Face to face interaction. A different kind of connection.
I am stuck with this fog in my head. I don’t know when it will clear I guess that’s the beauty of it all living on the edge.