Judgement

Today I was inspired to write regarding a question I have which is;

Is it ok to judge someone’s writing on the one or two pieces you have read or before you weigh your judgement should you be well versed in all their words and stories.

I try with all my might to make sure I write with my truth, love and I am pure with my feeling.  I know that with my illness things get distorted but when I am writing it is truly my honesty in that time.

When I decide to comment on another person’s words I do my best to track down as many facts as possible. If I do go off on a tangent I still ask for all the information so I can process my words. I can admit sometimes I charge ahead with the wrong words or in anger but I am getting stronger in my resolve that I am being truthful in the end about what I have said.

I have been judged many times, I often get judged by family most of all.  I believe that those that judge me on what I have written have not read everything therefore don’t have all the facts and are judging me with their emotions.  I know just how hard it is NOT to judge with emotions and being Bipolar has my emotions and my rationale confused at times.

Social Media can be a blessing as you can stay in contact either as a present participant in someone’s life or from a safe distant as to not create more drama. I myself do both. I have been blogging for 2 years and been consistent in writing about me, my Bipolar, my PTSD, my Borderline Personality Disorder, my anxiety and my ECT therapy. I have shared my feelings with how I grew up, my parents, my siblings and all that is in between.  Yet still I only get judged on “some” of my words not all. Seems like a double standard.

I understand that it is hard for people to read about my up’s and down’s in Facebook. I post happy quotes and I post sad ones too. But it is me sharing my life on my page.  I am still trying to find my perfect balance and still working on me, seeking therapy, and taking medication. I still have tonnes of life events to work through and lessons to learn.

Some days I want to slip away from this life so I can haunt those people that didn’t try when I was alive.  There are days everything is perfect and falling into place and I am ridiculously pleasant. Then there are the days where I learn I am being judged and now no longer find I am regarded as a ‘friend’ I am now a ‘foe’ in some of my families perception. Those family members that don’t have enough balls to say that the either don’t like what I have written (which would suggest that someone out there is actually reading my blog) or have a legitimate reason to no longer follow me.  I guess there are members of my family that are still living in the happy fantasy family and are still unable to see the real life scenarios that I share in my blog.

‘You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view – until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.’  -To Kill A Mockingbird

 

 

 

 

About Veronica

I am Veronica and I am a long-suffering broken, depressed, medicated, extremely sarcastic bipolar person. I was diagnosed many years ago however the bipolar diagnosis was first conveyed when I was around eight years old. I have BPD2 (Bipolar Disorder 2) and PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and recently its been said I can add Borderline Personality Disorder. My new favorite diagnosis at present is TRD which sounds a little better that Treatment Resistant Depression. I have had Electroconvulsive Therapy a few times. *There is content in here which can trigger many things. I had considered writing something a very long time ago, but have so many depressive episodes I lose myself and then have to climb the wall again. I have beautiful manic episodes where there is no more reasoning with the other me and everything is fun and fast and free. They never end well; but in those moments life is exceptional. This blog is my way of working through my head. I love to write, I have boxes full of my words, in notebooks that have stories, poetry, pain, madness from within. It is mine. I write with hope that it will be read and connect with someone. I will listen to you if you need an ear, *I will always apply credit to another writers work if I am to use it. Only read if you wish. I welcome your comments and encouragements however I would appreciate that you are mindful that this is a public blog, which might be read by families and children and I would ask that you keep your replies to a “G” rated with a helpful rather than destructive tone. Sincerely Veronica - A work in progress!

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