Poetry was once an outlet for me when I was younger back when I was processing the painful, draining life I was living.  I didn’t have a shoulder to cry on or a friend that had my back. I had to give everything I had to everyone else before I had anything for myself and what was left was a lonely, attention starved broken teen.

I have stumbled across a notebook I kept with bit’s and pieces of me, I thought I could share some with you. (There is a previous post with some more of my poems).

Devoted (27/05/99)

I lie alone at night naked in my bed

Dreaming of your touch so close to my head

I wonder what the weathers like outside my dreaming heart

Can I be the only one wanting this to start?

I want to share a moment if it’s only in my dreams

When you say those words which mean so much to me

I cry alone at night naked in my bed

Dreaming of you touch, dreaming of us instead.

Learning Experiences (08/07/99)

I don’t know why I feel this way something’s really wrong

No matter what I feel or say nothings being done

I feel bad about this age I’d change it if I could

What’s been done has been done so to live with it we should

You think I’m angry I promise you no I think that I should cry

I won’t forget what happened and I know you won’t be let

This was a learning experience and there is more that I should get.

Emotions (18/07/99) 16 years old

My emotions have been thrown around no one understands

I don’t want to explain it because it hurts my head

The tears I cry mean nothing it’s just a waste of breath

I don’t want to die now but it’s my closets freedom

My eyes are sore

My throat is dry

I hurt all over

I burn inside

I’m missing the most important thing a childhood and a life

All I’m really getting is shit and too much strife

I’m not the most smart person and I admit sometimes I don’t try

But for you to be the one to decide about my life ahead

One day it will all be understood and hopefully this day shall arrive soon.