delirious | Veronica180.com

Living with Depression and Bi-polar Disorder View Blog

Over Diagnosed

Posted by Veronica Aug 21, 2015 Anxiety, Bi Polar, Bipolar Beauty, Bipolar Bullshit, Broken, Case Studies, Celebrity, Comfort, Demons, Depression, Diagnosis, ECT, Electroconvulsive therapy, Events, Family, Healthy Eating, Insecurity, Insomnia, Keep Fit, Lonely, Manic, Manic Depression, Manic Madness, Melancholy, Memory Loss, My story, My Words, News, Painful, Poetry, PTSD, Quotes, Relationships, Stigma, Struggle, Suicide, Support, Treatment Resistant Depression, veronica180.com, Work anxiety, bipolar, bipolarbeauty, bipolarbullshit, blog, cryforhelp, darkness, delirious, demons, depression, desperate, destroyed, diagnose, Diagnosis, ECT, electroshocktherapy, insomnia, lost, melancholy, memoryloss, mywords, sadness, shocktherapy, stigma, Suicide, treatmentresistantdepression

People who suffer have extreme mood swings. SWING between elevated mood called Mania and super severe depression. Sometimes it is called ‘Manic Depression” a very common mood disorder and also so very debilitating. The Bipolar Spectrum has many different types of bipolar disorder. These different types of bipolar disorder can be expanded including sub types […]

Reached The End

Posted by Veronica Aug 9, 2015 Anxiety, Bi Polar, Bipolar Beauty, Bipolar Bullshit, Broken, Case Studies, Celebrity, Comfort, Depression, Diagnosis, ECT, Electroconvulsive therapy, Events, Family, Healthy Eating, Insecurity, Insomnia, Keep Fit, Manic, Manic Depression, Manic Madness, Melancholy, Memory Loss, My story, My Words, News, Painful, PTSD, Relationships, Stigma, Suicide, Support, Tips, Treatment Resistant Depression, Uncategorized anxiety, bipolar, bipolarbeauty, bipolarbullshit, blog, cryforhelp, darkness, delirious, demons, depression, desperate, destroyed, diagnose, Diagnosis, ECT, electroshocktherapy, insomnia, lost, melancholy, memoryloss, mywords, sadness, shocktherapy, stigma, Suicide, treatmentresistantdepression

Yesterday was wonderful. I came to the finale of my ECT. Basically MC had to make the decision but only if he could see a change in my. I have been pushing for the last 4 to have been enough. BUT MC had instruction from my social worker that it can be our call as […]

When is it safe?

Posted by Veronica Aug 9, 2015 Anxiety, Bi Polar, Bipolar Beauty, Bipolar Bullshit, Broken, Comfort, Demons, Depression, Diagnosis, ECT, Electroconvulsive therapy, Family, Insecurity, Insomnia, Lonely, Manic, Manic Depression, Manic Madness, Melancholy, Memory Loss, My story, My Words, News, Painful, Poetry, PTSD, Quotes, Relationships, Stigma, Struggle, Suicide, Treatment Resistant Depression, Work anxiety, bipolar, bipolarbeauty, bipolarbullshit, blog, cryforhelp, darkness, delirious, demons, depression, desperate, destroyed, diagnose, Diagnosis, ECT, electroshocktherapy, insomnia, lost, melancholy, memoryloss, mywords, sadness, shocktherapy, stigma, Suicide, treatmentresistantdepression

After being moved from the surgery waiting room to the recovery waiting room I am observed and monitored to make sure there are no adverse reactions to the anesthetic or the ECT. I get a nice cold juice and a sandwich and the nurse checks my blood pressure, pulse and respiration and continue to observe […]

Countdown In Full Swing

Posted by Veronica Jul 30, 2015 Anxiety, Bi Polar, Bipolar Beauty, Bipolar Bullshit, Broken, Case Studies, Celebrity, Comfort, Demons, Depression, Diagnosis, ECT, Electroconvulsive therapy, Events, Family, Insecurity, Insomnia, Keep Fit, Lonely, Manic, Manic Depression, Manic Madness, Melancholy, Memory Loss, My story, My Words, News, Painful, Poetry, PTSD, Quotes, Relationships, Stigma, Struggle, Suicide, Support, Tips, Travel, Treatment Resistant Depression, Uncategorized, veronica180.com, Work anxiety, bipolar, bipolarbeauty, bipolarbullshit, blog, cryforhelp, darkness, delirious, demons, depression, desperate, destroyed, diagnose, Diagnosis, ECT, electroshocktherapy, insomnia, lost, melancholy, memoryloss, mywords, sadness, shocktherapy, stigma, Suicide, treatmentresistantdepression

Today was ECT 5! I am on the countdown to my last ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy). I was transported by trolley to the theater and I didn’t have my canula in which is where they administer the anesthetic. I was in a fully fledged panic attack as they were putting the two electrodes on my scalp […]

Taking those steps towards the better me.

Posted by Veronica Jul 25, 2015 Anxiety, Bi Polar, Bipolar Bullshit, Broken, Case Studies, Celebrity, Comfort, Depression, Diagnosis, ECT, Electroconvulsive therapy, Family, Insecurity, Insomnia, Keep Fit, Manic, Manic Depression, Manic Madness, Melancholy, Memory Loss, My story, My Words, PTSD, Quotes, Relationships, Suicide, Tips, Treatment Resistant Depression, Uncategorized, Work anxiety, bipolar, bipolarbeauty, bipolarbullshit, blog, cryforhelp, darkness, delirious, demons, depression, desperate, destroyed, diagnose, Diagnosis, ECT, electroshocktherapy, insomnia, lost, melancholy, memoryloss, mywords, sadness, shocktherapy, stigma, Suicide, treatmentresistantdepression

It is safe to say that I am half way through my ECT (Electro Convulsive Therapy). I am not feeling any relief yet. All I want is to be me again. Become the mum I know I can be. Bring back the confident, strong, funny person that people used to like to know, people used […]

What is ECT like?

Posted by Veronica Jul 19, 2015 Anxiety, Bi Polar, Bipolar Beauty, Bipolar Bullshit, Broken, Case Studies, Celebrity, Comfort, Demons, Depression, Diagnosis, ECT, Electroconvulsive therapy, Events, Family, Healthy Eating, Insecurity, Insomnia, Keep Fit, Lonely, Manic, Manic Depression, Memory Loss, My story, My Words, News, Suicide, Tips anxiety, bipolar, bipolarbeauty, bipolarbullshit, blog, cryforhelp, darkness, delirious, demons, depression, desperate, destroyed, diagnose, Diagnosis, ECT, electroshocktherapy, insomnia, lost, melancholy, memoryloss, mywords, sadness, shocktherapy, stigma, Suicide, treatmentresistantdepression

SO I got to have ECT #3 today and boy was it painful. I knew having the time in between would heighten the chances of it being more painful but I was hoping I was strong enough to shrug it off. The pain was all physical; my jaw especially around my ears was aching and […]

And so the wait continues.

Posted by Veronica Jul 14, 2015 Anxiety, Bi Polar, Bipolar Beauty, Bipolar Bullshit, Broken, Case Studies, Demons, Depression, Diagnosis, ECT, Electroconvulsive therapy, Events, Insecurity, Insomnia, Lonely, Manic, Manic Depression, Manic Madness, Melancholy, Memory Loss, My story, My Words, News, Painful, Relationships, Treatment Resistant Depression, veronica180.com, Work anxiety, bipolar, bipolarbeauty, bipolarbullshit, blog, cryforhelp, darkness, delirious, demons, depression, desperate, destroyed, diagnose, Diagnosis, ECT, electroshocktherapy, insomnia, lost, melancholy, memoryloss, mywords, sadness, shocktherapy, stigma, Suicide, treatmentresistantdepression

I feel that sometimes I can talk myself into believing everything will work out the way I hoped. For once in my Iife I won’t have to fight for my freedom. My life has been tough from the get go and I struggle too often with the voices in my head. Lately I have started […]

How can it be this difficult?

Posted by Veronica Jul 8, 2015 Anxiety, Bi Polar, Bipolar Beauty, Bipolar Bullshit, Broken, Case Studies, Celebrity, Comfort, Demons, Depression, Diagnosis, ECT, Electroconvulsive therapy, Events, Family, Healthy Eating, Insecurity, Insomnia, Keep Fit, Lonely, Manic, Manic Depression, Manic Madness, Melancholy, Memory Loss, My story, My Words, News, Painful, Poetry, PTSD, Quotes, Relationships, Suicide, Support, Tips, Treatment Resistant Depression, veronica180.com, Work anxiety, bipolar, bipolarbeauty, bipolarbullshit, blog, cryforhelp, darkness, delirious, demons, depression, desperate, destroyed, diagnose, Diagnosis, ECT, electroshocktherapy, insomnia, lost, melancholy, memoryloss, mywords, sadness, shocktherapy, stigma, Suicide, treatmentresistantdepression

All I really wanted was for my ECT to go well. Unlucky for my family we have had to start whilst the girls were on school holidays so whilst I’m in Day Surgery, MC is entertaining the Girls on Mondays and all three children on Thursdays. The is no other way around it as we […]

If only we could skip ahead and have the benefits now

Posted by Veronica Jul 4, 2015 Anxiety, Bi Polar, Bipolar Beauty, Bipolar Bullshit, Broken, Case Studies, Comfort, Demons, Depression, Diagnosis, ECT, Electroconvulsive therapy, Events, Family, Healthy Eating, Insecurity, Insomnia, Keep Fit, Lonely, Manic, Manic Depression, Manic Madness, Melancholy, Memory Loss, My story, My Words, News, Painful, Poetry, Quotes, Relationships, Stigma, Struggle, Suicide, Tips, Treatment Resistant Depression, veronica180.com, Work anxiety, bipolar, bipolarbeauty, bipolarbullshit, blog, cryforhelp, darkness, delirious, demons, depression, desperate, destroyed, diagnose, Diagnosis, ECT, electroshocktherapy, insomnia, lost, melancholy, memoryloss, mywords, sadness, shocktherapy, stigma, Suicide, treatmentresistantdepression

I rarely get sick. So getting sick this week was a huge surprise to me;of all the weeks to feel so weak this is the week. Having gone ahead with the ECT (Electroconvulsive therapy) anyway means that I was going to fall apart physically and emotionally, loose myself. It is not pleasant having to explain […]

Next…. Electroconvulsive Therapy

Posted by Veronica Jun 30, 2015 Anxiety, Bi Polar, Bipolar Beauty, Bipolar Bullshit, Broken, Case Studies, Celebrity, Comfort, Demons, Depression, Diagnosis, ECT, Electroconvulsive therapy, Events, Family, Healthy Eating, Insecurity, Insomnia, Keep Fit, Lonely, Manic, Manic Depression, Manic Madness, Melancholy, Memory Loss, My story, My Words, News, Painful, Poetry, Quotes, Relationships, Stigma, Struggle, Suicide, Support, Tips, Travel, Treatment Resistant Depression, Uncategorized, veronica180.com, Work anxiety, bipolar, bipolarbeauty, bipolarbullshit, blog, cryforhelp, darkness, delirious, demons, depression, desperate, destroyed, diagnose, Diagnosis, ECT, electroshocktherapy, insomnia, lost, melancholy, memoryloss, mywords, sadness, shocktherapy, stigma, Suicide, treatmentresistantdepression

So it is the Sunday before my first Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT for short) this is the first of eight. Two a week on Monday’s and Thursday’s, I’m old hat at this. As I have had it in two blocks of treatment over the last seven years. If I am going to be honest I am […]

This is my voice – My way of trying to navigate through this illness

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