Tag Archives: mywords

Hamster Wheel

Posted by Veronica May 10, 2019 Anxiety, Bi Polar, Bipolar Beauty, Bipolar Bullshit, Broken, Case Studies, Celebrity, Comfort, Demons, Depression, Diagnosis, ECT, Electroconvulsive therapy, Events, Family, Healthy Eating, Insecurity, Insomnia, Lonely, Manic, Manic Depression, Manic Madness, Melancholy, Memory Loss, My story, My Words, News, Painful, Poetry, PTSD, Quotes, Relationships, Stigma, Struggle, Suicide, Treatment Resistant Depression, Uncategorized, veronica180.com, Work anxiety, bipolar, bipolarbeauty, bipolarbullshit, blog, demons, depression, ECT, electroshocktherapy, insomnia, melancholy, memoryloss, mywords, shocktherapy, stigma, treatmentresistantdepression

Running the hamster wheel at present. Life has become very predictable and this is not enjoyable. I struggle with anxiety. One would think that having everything consistent would make me and my affliction very happy. But what happens is I never get out of this and thus continue to run in circles. Same old, same […]

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Ramblings for the New Year

Posted by Veronica Feb 8, 2019 Anxiety, Bi Polar, Bipolar Beauty, Bipolar Bullshit, Broken, Comfort, Demons, Depression, Diagnosis, ECT, Electroconvulsive therapy, Family, Insecurity, Insomnia, Lonely, Manic, Manic Depression, Manic Madness, Melancholy, Memory Loss, My story, Painful, Poetry, PTSD, Quotes, Relationships, Stigma, Struggle, Suicide, Support, Treatment Resistant Depression, Uncategorized, veronica180.com anxiety bipolar, bipolarbeauty, bipolarbullshit, blog, demons, depression, ECT, electroshocktherapy, insomnia, melancholy, memoryloss, mywords, shocktherapy, stigma, treatmentresistantdepression

So,  I am still flying solo on the Medical assistance area. Still no Dr or Medical Nurse. Still no friends to talk to. No one to share the dark dirty thoughts I have. I last wrote in October. And I truly wish I could say time has flown but that is a lie. Every day […]

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Fog

Posted by Veronica Oct 23, 2018 Anxiety, Bi Polar, Bipolar Beauty, Bipolar Bullshit, Broken, Comfort, Demons, Depression, Diagnosis, ECT, Electroconvulsive therapy, Family, Insecurity, Insomnia, Lonely, Manic, Manic Depression, Manic Madness, Melancholy, Memory Loss, Painful, Poetry, PTSD, Quotes, Relationships, Stigma, Struggle, Suicide, Support, Treatment Resistant Depression, veronica180.com anxiety, bipolar, bipolarbeauty, bipolarbullshit, blog, demons, depression, ECT, electroshocktherapy, insomnia, melancholy, memoryloss, mywords, shocktherapy, stigma, treatmentresistantdepression

I have been in a fog for a month or two. I don’t know how I am feeling. I am numb to whats in my head this may be a good thing but it could also bubble over and cause great pain in the future. I am trying to have focus on the future. Big […]

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Blues… of the birthday

Posted by Veronica Aug 24, 2018 Anxiety, Bi Polar, Bipolar Beauty, Bipolar Bullshit, Broken, Case Studies, Celebrity, Comfort, Demons, Depression, Diagnosis, Electroconvulsive therapy, Events, Family, Insecurity, Insomnia, Lonely, Manic, Manic Depression, Manic Madness, Melancholy, Memory Loss, My story, Painful, Poetry, Portfolio, PTSD, Quotes, Relationships, Stigma, Struggle, Suicide, Support, Tips, Travel, Treatment Resistant Depression, Uncategorized, veronica180.com, Work anxiety, bipolar, bipolarbeauty, bipolarbullshit, blog, demons, depression, ECT, electroshocktherapy, insomnia, melancholy, memoryloss, mywords, shocktherapy, stigma, treatmentresistantdepression

Ridiculously, I wrote about the birthday and the blues and all the feelings associated with it in a previous post,   It’s hard to believe that it has passed yet again, but my birthday blues has begun and with it I write.   I am Drunk. One beautiful bottle of red merlot down and I’m […]

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There was this day

Posted by Veronica Jul 13, 2018 Anxiety, Bi Polar, Bipolar Beauty, Bipolar Bullshit, Broken, Case Studies, Celebrity, Comfort, Demons, Depression, Diagnosis, ECT, Electroconvulsive therapy, Events, Family, Insecurity, Insomnia, Keep Fit, Lonely, Manic, Manic Depression, Manic Madness, Melancholy, Memory Loss, My story, Painful, Poetry, PTSD, Quotes, Relationships, Stigma, Struggle, Suicide, Support, Tips, Travel, Treatment Resistant Depression, veronica180.com bipolar, bipolarbeauty, bipolarbullshit, blog, demons, depression, ECT, electroshocktherapy, insomnia, melancholy, memoryloss, mywords, shocktherapy, stigma, treatmentresistantdepression

*SENSITIVE CONTENT WARNING I am all over the shop. Understandably trying to come off medication is a hard task. A task I took on willingly, but I task I cannot complete. I had a terrible time this week sadly there was a day where I was the closest I have been in a long time […]

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Break UP, It’s you.

Posted by Veronica Jun 20, 2018 Anxiety, Bi Polar, Bipolar Bullshit, Broken, Case Studies, Celebrity, Comfort, Demons, Depression, Diagnosis, ECT, Electroconvulsive therapy, Events, Family, Healthy Eating, Insecurity, Insomnia, Keep Fit, Lonely, Manic, Manic Depression, Manic Madness, Melancholy, Memory Loss, My story, News, Painful, Painting, Photos, Poetry, Portfolio, PTSD, Quotes, Relationships, Stigma, Struggle, Suicide, Support, Tips, Travel, Treatment Resistant Depression, Uncategorized, veronica180.com, Work anxiety, bipolar, bipolarbeauty, bipolarbullshit, blog, bullshitdoctor, demons, depression, ECT, electroshocktherapy, insomnia, letmedown, melancholy, memoryloss, mywords, shocktherapy, stigma, Suicide, treatmentresistantdepression

He has left me. Not leaving me but has left. Obviously, I am a patient and he would have many but when you have finally found the right DR it can be devastating when they break up with you. This is a painful break up and it’s not me. It’s you. You broke up with […]

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Changing?

Posted by Veronica Jun 6, 2018 Anxiety, Bi Polar, Bipolar Beauty, Bipolar Bullshit, Broken, Demons, Depression, Diagnosis, ECT, Electroconvulsive therapy, Events, Family, Healthy Eating, Insomnia, Lonely, Manic, Manic Depression, Manic Madness, Melancholy, My story, News, Painful, Poetry, PTSD, Quotes, Relationships, Stigma, Struggle, Suicide, Treatment Resistant Depression, Uncategorized, veronica180.com anxiety, bipolar, bipolarbeauty, bipolarbullshit, blog, bolog, demons, depression, ECT, electroshocktherapy, insomnia, melancholy, memoryloss, mywords, shocktherapy, stigma, treatmentresistantdepression

The understanding that I have changed is not true. I am removing all the layers of pharmaceuticals The products that have shadowed me for 20 years. So it’s not that I am changing,  it’s that I am removing what has been hanging over me. What you will be seeing now is someone I don’t know. […]

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Remedy

Posted by Veronica Apr 28, 2018 Anxiety, Bi Polar, Bipolar Beauty, Bipolar Bullshit, Broken, Case Studies, Celebrity, Comfort, Demons, Depression, Diagnosis, ECT, Electroconvulsive therapy, Events, Family, Insecurity, Insomnia, Lonely, Manic, Manic Depression, Manic Madness, Melancholy, Memory Loss, My story, News, Painful, Poetry, PTSD, Quotes, Relationships, Stigma, Struggle, Suicide, Support, Tips, Uncategorized, veronica180.com, Work anxiety, bipolar, bipolarbeauty, bipolarbullshit, blog, demons, depression, ECT, electroshocktherapy, insomnia, melancholy, memoryloss, mywords, shocktherapy, stigma, Suicide, treatmentresistantdepression

Honestly; I fear myself. At present my unpredictability and volatile personality make me worried that I’m totally losing the plot. Being up in the air again with my diagnosis I don’t have ways to explain why I am reacting the way I do. I have read that when people have ways to pin point triggers […]

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Me, a face to the name.

Posted by Veronica Apr 20, 2018 Uncategorized anxiety, bipolar, bipolarbeauty, bipolarbullshit, blog, cryforhelp, darkness, demons, depression, ECT, electroshocktherapy, insomnia, lost, melancholy, memoryloss, mywords, sadness, shocktherapy, stigma, Suicide, treatmentresistantdepression

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WTF is wrong with me?

Posted by Veronica Apr 20, 2018 Anxiety, Bi Polar, Bipolar Beauty, Bipolar Bullshit, Broken, Case Studies, Celebrity, Comfort, Demons, Depression, ECT, Electroconvulsive therapy, Events, Family, Insecurity, Insomnia, Lonely, Manic, Manic Depression, Manic Madness, Melancholy, Memory Loss, My story, Painful, Painting, Photos, Poetry, Portfolio, PTSD, Quotes, Relationships, Stigma, Struggle, Suicide, Treatment Resistant Depression, Uncategorized, veronica180.com, Work anxiety, bipolar, bipolarbeauty, bipolarbullshit, blog, cryforhelp, darkness, demons, depression, ECT, electroshocktherapy, insomnia, lost, melancholy, memoryloss, mywords, sadness, shocktherapy, stigma, Suicide, treatmentresistantdepression

BROKEN MOLD We; ie medical professionals can not find a diagnosis to assist me with treatment. Obviously I know that no one person has the exact same, tick the box, characteristics for each disorder, but really being able to lock something in would help the explanation to family, help make the right decisions with medication […]

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