Break UP, It’s you.

He has left me. Not leaving me but has left. Obviously, I am a patient and he would have many but when you have finally found the right DR it can be devastating when they break up with you. This is a painful break up and it’s not me. It’s you. You broke up with […]

Remedy

Remedy

Honestly; I fear myself. At present my unpredictability and volatile personality make me worried that I’m totally losing the plot. Being up in the air again with my diagnosis I don’t have ways to explain why I am reacting the way I do. I have read that when people have ways to pin point triggers […]

WTF is wrong with me?

BROKEN MOLD We; ie medical professionals can not find a diagnosis to assist me with treatment. Obviously I know that no one person has the exact same, tick the box, characteristics for each disorder, but really being able to lock something in would help the explanation to family, help make the right decisions with medication […]

My roller coaster just wont stop. I keep loosing it at the stupidest things. And then I get super angry and flustered and just want to punch something or someone. The Valium tends to help bring me back to mellow and I don’t think my moodstabliser is keeping me very stable. The anger I have […]

Not Safe 08/02/2018

*SENSITIVE CONTENT WARNING I have said “I am not safe” This is me asking for help.  This is me on the brink of a place I do not want to go. When I say that “I am not safe” I am making MC aware that the thoughts in my head are ones that suggest that […]

Thought

I don’t know If I should call it tolerance If I should call it time Is it resilience Is my life really mine? I have no path to follow I have nothing to lose If you saw me crying Would you stop, would you? I try to fulfil my duty As person, parent, wife But […]

Moment Meltdowns

I have just lost myself in the shortest period. When I say to you that in a moment every emotion I have can happen all at once. It is an unbelievable concept to some yet there are others that can nod their head with an understanding of what I mean. It will stop me dead […]

Sand

Sand

It’s been said time spent in the sun, feet on the earth, being within nature helps those with mental illness. I do this sometimes, but my time when I am feeling low is spent locked in my room away from it all. The security of my room. The smell, the darkness, and the demons. All […]

Anxious Confidence

Anxious Confidence

Some people are born with confidence. They come out of the womb with it. Some people grow into confidence like the new pair of shoes that you got at the beginning of the year for school, you know the ones that mum said you were going to grow into. Some people use substances to create […]