Tips for great blogging…. That is definitely what I need, I mean surely, I’m not that interesting and this is going to be just another thing that I can fail at.
Firstly I need to be myself. If I knew who I was that would help. I have tried to find things to aspire to. I have worked in large companies and I have worked for myself, but I always end up down and depressed, exhausted, frustrated with the way my head works. Angry that yet again my BPD has taken over my body and pushed me down the well again.
Would someone really want to read and share these moments with me?
Share your feelings…… What!
Feelings are so difficult to share. For most of my life I have been sad. I have struggled with the unspoken expectations put on me after my big brother died when he was nearly 3 and still to this day every birthday and the day he died are brought up year after year. I don’t want to forget him but the constant barrage of despair at his death and the fact he was intelligent and loving and everything special in a child. I have harboured these feelings for such a long time. I spent time with psychologists when I was 8 to try and help me through these feelings. This was when BPD was first suggested. It can only be a speculation at such a young age.
Understand my audience….. Ok so the way I would pitch my blog would be to those people that think they know or understand me (family, friends, co-workers.) Bah I don’t know me so how could they?
Those people out there who are searching for answers like me. Those of you that feel like I may be on a similar path as you, or have similar beliefs. I will be more honest than I have ever been. I will share the truths I have found. Share the “me” which I live with every day, the “me” I am at war with. I will listen to you and share my stories with yours, share your opinions and hopefully learn from each other.
Give the blog time………….. I have plenty of time. I have 2 kids in school and 1 in kindergarten. I haven’t had a job for 7 months, my bipolar helped with that. I spend most of my days watching TV shows, or TV (Dr Phil and Judge Judy and my all-time favourite show The Bold and the Beautiful if only life was like Bold).
I sleep a lot, I sleep more the worse I feel. My mum thought having the blog would be cathartic, help me with the processing of my mind. Give me a reason to be busy. Make this a new journey. Learn more about BPD and PTSD and Borderline personality disorder.
Hopefully sharing what’s in my head will help those of you out there reading this, and me. And having the opportunity to create a new network of peers, with people who are also on the bipolar rollercoaster of life.