SO I got to have ECT #3 today and boy was it painful. I knew having the time in between would heighten the chances of it being more painful but I was hoping I was strong enough to shrug it off. The pain was all physical; my jaw especially around my ears was aching and my mouth from the clenching just continued to throb until I managed to take some Panadine Forte. Most of my muscles ached today I spent longer than normal in the waiting room, I was struggling to wake up properly and get up and out of the anaesthetic fog I was in.
After being moved from the surgery waiting room to the recovery waiting room I am observed and monitored to make sure there are no adverse reactions to the anaesthetic or the ECT. I get a nice cold juice and a sandwich and the nurse checks my blood pressure, pulse and respirations and continue to observe me on their gigantic recliners which are quite comfy, add to them the heat pack blanket and I get to wait for MC to pick me up and today he brings the little man. Boy he was loud and he was cheeky too telling the nurse what to do with me and where I have to go.
The biggest ECT issue that I am struggling with is my loss of memory. I knew that it would be the hardest cards on the table. I know that I have to fight really hard to keep my memory, to remember the easy day to day tasks like Basketball after school on Tuesdays. When the garbage bins go out. These seem small but they haven’t changed in the three years we have lived in this house. I should not forget them at all. I should not forget any. But I continue to forget passwords, the Bold and the Beautiful storyline (my favourite TV show ever) and general conversations with MC or the children and I don’t have any recollection of the conversation. The worst was cooking and then forgetting I had cooked one hour earlier. And then asking why the house smelt of bacon.
I have to put so much trust in my family and pray that they will continue to look out for me and keep reminding me about all the things I keep forgetting. The one thing I will never forget is how much I love them.
