My roller coaster just wont stop.
I keep loosing it at the stupidest things. And then I get super angry and flustered and just want to punch something or someone.
The Valium tends to help bring me back to mellow and I don’t think my moodstabliser is keeping me very stable.
The anger I have over regular comments that my mind makes me hear as snide and sassy which tends to set me off, has been uncontrollable. This is unacceptable and I don’t know how to fix it.
I don’t have a friend near by to catch up with and chat. the face to face conversation that is ” beneficial for mental health”. I am really hard to chat about anyway and who really wants that other than a paid professional. Again my anxiety of being in a social area wouldn’t benefit anyone. So stuck all the same no matter how I would like my life to be.
Due to my recent suicidal ideation and the unpredictable nature of it. I am having regular catch ups with my nurse practitioner intermittent between seeing the DR always helps. But why cant I just have a breather from my head.
Why wont the roller coaster get stuck upside down for a few days and give me a break. Fuck it if all the blood rushes into my head and my eyes pop out. Just some silence in my head.
Not really to much to ask for.
