Poetry was once an outlet for me when I was younger back when I was processing the painful, draining life I was living. I didn’t have a shoulder to cry on or a friend that had my back. I had to give everything I had to everyone else before I had anything for myself and what was left was a lonely, attention starved broken teen.
I have stumbled across a notebook I kept with bit’s and pieces of me, I thought I could share some with you. (There is a previous post with some more of my poems).
I lie alone at night naked in my bed
Dreaming of your touch so close to my head
I wonder what the weathers like outside my dreaming heart
Can I be the only one wanting this to start?
I want to share a moment if it’s only in my dreams
When you say those words which mean so much to me
I cry alone at night naked in my bed
Dreaming of you touch, dreaming of us instead.
Learning Experiences (08/07/99)
I don’t know why I feel this way something’s really wrong
No matter what I feel or say nothings being done
I feel bad about this age I’d change it if I could
What’s been done has been done so to live with it we should
You think I’m angry I promise you no I think that I should cry
I won’t forget what happened and I know you won’t be let
This was a learning experience and there is more that I should get.
Emotions (18/07/99) 16 years old
My emotions have been thrown around no one understands
I don’t want to explain it because it hurts my head
The tears I cry mean nothing it’s just a waste of breath
I don’t want to die now but it’s my closets freedom
My eyes are sore
My throat is dry
I hurt all over
I burn inside
I’m missing the most important thing a childhood and a life
All I’m really getting is shit and too much strife
I’m not the most smart person and I admit sometimes I don’t try
But for you to be the one to decide about my life ahead
One day it will all be understood and hopefully this day shall arrive soon.