We; ie medical professionals can not find a diagnosis to assist me with treatment.
Obviously I know that no one person has the exact same, tick the box, characteristics for each disorder, but really being able to lock something in would help the explanation to family, help make the right decisions with medication and alternate therapies. Something that I could use, say, hey this is me, these are the things we have tried and this is what is next on the agenda. This explain why I am feeling that.
I am now going into medical history of family. Looking into different disorders that have never crossed my mind. We are looking for an explanation on why I keep failing. Why I keep trending down. Down, down ,down.
We cant call it major depression, or bipolar disorder, or borderline personalty, seasonal affective disorder, psychotic depression. I just have to be difficult.
We are going back, as far back as birth. We are going to start at the beginning and comb through all of me to find boxes that we have missed. Actually we are going to start a new checklist.
Today I have to start a list of symptoms, feelings little things that are going to help. It’s going to take a few days and MC has a fair bit of input as he has first hand data analysis of me. So today I start.
First step, AGAIN towards finding new ways of treatment.